The story so far:
There was a beautiful young lady walking down the old cobbled path when she saw someone being fleeced She quickly intervened by screeming aloud and waving her arms frantically. They stopped to see the poetic justice of the distant tourist attraction that featured little green fingernails glistening in the face of the magician who made him disappear. Tamsin looked at... the laughing buddah incredulously, but started to realise that he was not maybe we should dance he said. I think not, but instead let's become masked vigilantes and call ourselves sultans of swing before time travelling to a distant blue watery planet without sunlight.How.... will we see ,rubbed his belly, (sorry, i responded to page one by mistake. . .)
but by starlight? The evil children are hiding in between the sheets, where a cat has left his catnip. Tamsin spoke "What to do... about the evil lurking in the hearts of men today". I think I will eviscerate or at least exfoliate my foes from this primal mode of behavior they exhibit toward foolish trusting souls Because I feel like dancing, baby Jane;lets twist the night away How to gather the last remaining shreds of dignity after foolishly allowing Dortmouth to expound his brutal manifesto on political activisim to the naive shivering, undressed lass who only wanted to dance and earn enough money to move away and raise manbearpigs (?) of unknown origin after which she would sell them at discount prices to local zookeepers in an effort to make enough filthy lucre to survive.Where does... Stitchface keep the secret stash of saucy, ribald limericks that were hidden under the mattress. Then, every night he would run to the woodshed brandishing sharp implements at the moon only wanting to write interesting prose, and publish it anonymously, then something changed all that. As he wrote, his life story. He quickly learned that not only was he not a transvestite octologist with eight limbs and expensive taste. but his desire for Latvian reindeer came from a old wive's tale and consumed every pious fragment of his mental capacity slowly withering under the giant hat which he wore proudly on his Manbearpig. "Shazam!" shouted David Blaine. Magic Dortmouth, "I have had a vision!" he explained excitedly. Seven swarthy eunuchs sang falsetto songs in a language known only to venomous Yugoslavian nuns Her ears bled. Carried away by waves of euphoria that reminded her of the watery Pizzas of Domino's with thin crusts and filled with zuccini laced jellies she began to weep uncontrollably at the sight of a dying sound that tangled her mind-tank irreversably knots of delusion twist in diffusion all the while somehow keeping her far from sane yet serenely inane and completely aloof.
Apparently she hadn't taken her medication where's the proof who knows?
All I know is each time she walked outside, everybody could see that she was mesmerized by tranquil skies , beautifully warm air and romantic musings. Wherever she stepped there would always be a peaceful tribe chanting "Oooh! You go girl!" With every passing breath she took umbrage at those who she thought were spoiling the the harmonic vibrations of vibrating zithers In front of the red doors that house all Popes and dreams cardinals of sin, she sat down. Odd shaped children gnawed and scratched clamoring for more, of what she wanted most of but could never really possess. So, I frequently mailed every last one I could find. But, alas, it dissapeared into space
These are expensive! I thought to try by e-mail my lurid proclivities and quickly learned to speak Dutch and read sanskrit. Tamsin was impressed. With this new steaming hot porridge so imbibed voraciously like a dog which confused me. for vivacious reasons her playful musings pleased me greatly but infuriated Dortmouth. the mutated doormouse girded his lions before they melted rendering him immobile. "Not this again," sighed Manbearpig, "I need new pants and green suspenders for ass-less chaps and bottamless lasses to sail with. into oblivious reprimand Then, twenty clowns hurling petrol bombs through the porthole of Lollypop Land trying to find their tiny car were ambushed. It went without saying, replied the mute, that this was a wedding to delight wayward women with Coulrophobia treatment at minimal cost in order to preserve divine providence .
The treatment center down the road stank of death among the screams from aging clowns. I fondley remembered Jonathon Livingston Seagull standing beside the rusty old truck. giving a flying squirrel that will fly only when when the sun is going down. Sadly, the wise Owl "Clotty" exploded into millions of tiny giggles. Each day thereafter brought down a different tribe of Indians hunt owls for pets. Later Tamsin walked along the Atlantic City boardwalk dirty drug riverbank dressed in frillies to go to the photo booth. for explicit glossies with reasons to blackmail the doorman for loads of threaded silver buttons like a Nazi Somehow the door which had always squeeked endlessly had finally jammed shut This was bad do to the fact that this was bad. The phosphorous purple giraffe convulsed wretchedly, foaming at the mouth. Just then, someone espied wondrous lubricated green demon remover. .. for giraffe application , and headed to the nearest toilet to be sick. Lyndon Frothwiper pronounced that "someone" dead. was not threatening major psychological harm to anyone but it's a result... of drain bamage .Loud music floated through the open road. That squirrel and moose traveled 0.5 past lightspeed until abruptly stopping somewhere in Guam. A shot rang my mobile, demanding my full attention . Then, the moose contracted WARP SYNDROME when custard coloured wisps of smoke that smelled like pickled arse jelly mixed with saliva on a biscuit. Reality crystalized instantly into putrid felines prowling among the broken glass at the flying squirrel's evil underwater fortress .
Tamsin awoke from her twisted nightmare and rubbed sleep . She decided to dance with penguins causing icy shards of minty julip colored icicles to to bounce off . The squirrel laughed as jeering demons typed hot-keys madly not knowing what was happening to... the rubberized jackels as the puppet for Tamsin for danced around psychedelic ever swore vengeance upon his adversary speaking in tongues. Seven omnipresent attorneys quickly filed subpoenas together with some requiring everyone involved appear before the honourable Judge Manbearpig for immediate disposition . The judge banged his bloodied meathooks upon righteous mahogany and spewed frothing rabid juices from pithy putrid pomegranites plastering poor people . They (the people) killed judge Manbearpig with sharp filthy drunken rookers(Droogspeak) only to find when opened up both his ears. A fluffy bunny (code name "disemboweller) chewed carrots cautiously while reading morning assassin, the mag absentmindedly sharpening his viable retrievable glockenspiel and polishing his boots.
Tamsin came into the courtroom. Puss-n-Boots he thought an easy kill, so he planned... devious chicanery meticulously day and night
only wanting to assasinate Tamsin and puss, he poisoned the catnip and partially devoured liverwurst returning to his deviant diabolical scheming. Turning this over an idea struck him now was the flying squirrel's threat... finally making sense of it all . He (the squirrel) and Tamsin had formed an unholy pasta shop where Benedictine monks prayed for marmite sammies and puddin' but usually got biscuits and gravy with dry pasta The crunchy bits coagulated with pflegm floating at the surface of the bowl's top reeked of stale cheese . Both (Tamsiin and the squirrel) of them gripped spoons expectantly "Free beer" bellowed Charleton Bellesford Finchingwarbleton his spectacles misting as he spoke voluminously in timbers that shook the insides of the Benedictine friar's frock . "Where's my beer!?" piped timorous Mrs Beetlehoven Von Bachalach de la Cruz. of Pompano Florida She turned looking at the window... The purple sky with pizza pie and secretly thought that window needs of the events of the past At age 67 Mrs. Beetlehoven desperately prepared reluctant kittens for life as her giant dog licked his lips contemplating the demise of the felines.
Some children came and the dog came out to play with Mrs Beetlehoven, She patted chocolate marzipans wistfully on the children's plates. She then opened a bottle over the head of the dog. anointing him with coagulated meatpie juices : "There, there Maximus..." she crooned, "EGGS swallowed whole runny yokes of yellow and gooey whites frothing like bulldogs after a postman are never good . No good was gleaned surreptitiously within her close minded plottings. She ate seventeen elongated liverwursts whilst laughing heartily meat bits dripping haphazardly beneath wrinkled folds of her sagging second chin ."I must see my Grandmother immediately after Whipplewhite's sojourn in the field of electromagnetic piety took off toward the Orion Constellation. The great convergence bestilled laboring minds ever while engaging the trifling few objections raised by actor Tom Hanks and his dog Sparky d'leg humper but then he over the warp under the warp make it so and it was. But what was weasels doing here their voracious little meathooks pawing frantically trying to get at poor Sparky innocently licking fetlocks dripping with distaste "Nevermind that" said Margarite the mail-carrier heed my post disdainfully dreading impending doom that will thunderously come C.O.D. packaged in tafita brillando en verano with glitter and pompous lathering persperation Wombatty wombats objected to the heat baking his cranium "Earmuffs for all declared the dutchess dead."
Tamsin returned... then left.
Manbearpig followed, the end result of constipation being ripped pants sack of wine was dead. Apparently, what had happened time ran out Heart-wrenching traumatic moments ain't they? Hysteria was the result Manbearpig didn't expect so he bolted the door and and locked the toilet. Inside compendious and roiling spectacularly he realized belatedly he was stuck
precariously betwixt sedimentary rock and squishy corpses. He shimmied down to a long stove pipe and walked along a steep rail jutting out over a swirling vat of odoriferous handicrafts almost falling dramatically in valiant desperation he grabbed a box of bananas ripened and brownish not being able to resist stuffing his pockets full beyond believable capacity their oily skins aged and stretchmarked With the bananas rotten, fetid, disgusting oozing through the cracks in time dripping all over freshly polished floors far below in triple banana time out of mind debated several emirates over the likelyhood over the likelihood "Nothing Works" shouted Sexy-Pants Girl "and my make-up" doesn't help either or bunching pantyhose causing apoplexy. Never in life have countesses depilitated haphazardly pieced together words in a way not sense makes and seldom does when those who jumble quixotic malpropisms when warned off in they're heir lose any context Frank. Honestly, my flautist did it the long winded troubadour extolled pompously a melody that that brought tears welling embarassingly voluminously like DINO DNA down the eyes of Sexy-Pants Girl fornicated beyond sanity .Sexy pants boy and Wee Baybeh from the dairy experienced formidable discomfort during the unforgettable arrival on the the lower level where porn goggles figure prominently in were very important seeing the world through x-ray lenses
An orange miasma alien ran a a polluting machine to try and make cress grow but Wee Beybeh drooled a puddle of bubbling rancid toxins that dissolved sex-pants girl into nothing.
"I'm melting! Noooooo!" she shrieked as she melted into a puddle of poisonous sexy nothingness like Barbie in a 70's disco never to be seen again alive or dead. She sang a song she sang it baby! Oh yeah! That girl could belt one out to the rooftops the nightingales couldn't cope. Burly fusspots screamed indecorous sentiments whilst emptying their vast spiked dustbins of yesterdays hotpot and blood pudding on the heads of the antismoking tobacco selling, choir of the church of the holy handcuffs of hastings They let forth worrisome words causing fear and consternation along with confusion and mindblowing apathy. Meanwhile Tamsin was was clearing her throat to sing with boy-band Take-That and accidentally regurgitated the lyrics to Mandy by Manilow her audience fled in fear at the loss of of her voice.
Night fell, maidenhair Marge fell too, bumping her noggin which, sadly, started calamitous inevitable revulsion amongst the masses Magre massaged her magic bingo wings multitudinous coloured and recharged by sunlight she'd been flying way too high! Her wings melted in buttery rainbows and dripping down her silky smooth legs. The sky cried for her loss and rain fell with quiet solitude, tragically evaporating before it hit the searing asphalt . The burning heat gang wore shorts covering scarred legs and pale buttocks
The off-licence closed
and opened and then fell down to where it discovered Mr Nesbitt stroking his ego leggo my ego its not house-trained ... Mr Nesbitt screeched then all Hell broke loose. Just staring in horror, the genetically modified gang advanced menacingly while cymbals crashed to the funky monkeys of doom dancing on ants and splitting their their hairs. Suddenly Tamsin came with a free gift and valuable coupon for 50% off the already low and high. byeeeee!
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